There are Parasites on my Face – My Experience with Acne
05/25/25
A universal experience that all teens share is acne. For me, this is more than just a skin issue; it’s the one thing I often wish to change. My self confidence has been dictated on how many blemishes or marks I have on my skin and I often hear myself saying, “I would be happier if my skin were clear.” Acne has ruined my life.
Although this sounds shallow, it’s true. I was often praised for having the smoothest and clearest skin throughout middle school. It was something I definitely held pride in but not something I cherished enough. I thought I won the genetic lottery and would never have to experience these things. That was until I began noticing small pimples and bumps on my face around the start of the 9th grade. This was the absolute worst time possible as I already struggled to fit in and make friends. With both things combined, I hated school. I hated having to wake up hours too early to apply pounds of makeup on my skin, and most of all I hated how everyone around me somehow had perfect skin. This is not something you notice until your skin breaks out. I felt as if the only thing people saw was my acne. I envisioned myself through the perspective of others as someone with no eyes, no nose, no lips, no ears, no face. The only feature I possessed were the red spots and bumps that drowned on my face. My confidence was destroyed.
I did everything in my power to make my acne go away. I scoured the internet for the best and most promising methods. Here are highly acclaimed, top recommended methods to get rid of your acne:
- Gut health: Heal your gut health by taking ginger, lemon, turmeric shots everyday.
- No sugar: Do not eat a single gram of sugar.
- Drink more water: Drink at least 4 litres of water everyday.
- No dairy: Liquids from cows will only make your skin worse.
- Skincare: Buy top Korean skincare brand products.
- Blue Light Therapy: Use blue LEDs to fight bacteria and reduce scars.
I religiously followed these methods for months, only to have the outcome of no results. Sometimes, my skin would clear for a couple days which seemed promising; however, I only faced disappointment as it never lasted for long. At a moment of pure discouragement, my Aunt, a pharmacist, was able to give me Tretinoin A.
Tretinoin A ruined my skin. I was entirely responsible for this outcome though. Before I began using this product, my Aunt had warned me that my skill would peel. I understood this, especially since I had done prior research. While I was still cautious of the product, I began using it twice a week. Twice a week turned into 3, which became 4, which became 7. The product was severely underwhelming at the start which caused me to feel unfulfilled. I thought Tretinoin would be the solution to all my problems. From all the retinol my skin was eating, it became completely dried. I am sure a layer of my skin had completely shedded off as merely putting water on my face was extremely painful. Moving my face into different expressions caused stinging pain. I felt like Tretinoin had transformed me into an expressionless snake.
With such an extent of pain, it was clear I had developed a damaged skin barrier. I stopped the Tretinoin and focused on applying thick moisturizers to restore my skin. Using moisturizer only, lasted for about one week. Despite my terrible experience with Tretinoin, I still felt extremely insecure about my acne. Nothing gave me any long-lasting results and at this point I had become desperate. I began the cycle again. A layer of my skin shedded again. I felt excruciating pain again. This happened two more times.
I definitely had learned my lesson the first time and reduced the amount and frequency of use; however, I fell into the same cycle of desperation. Although a similar pattern can be determined, I truly felt beyond hopeless which made me disregard the consequences.
After the many repeated mistakes, I stopped. I stopped searching on the internet for what has made other peoples’ skin clear and understand that I am different. No one’s skin requires the same needs, so what works for them may not work for me. I still tried out new products and began understanding what works for me and what doesn’t. Eventually I tried out the Tretinoin again, but this time I proceeded with far more cation and far less desperation. Now my skin still has blemishes, new breakouts, and red marks, but it’s okay.
If you have learned anything from this story, it is to never overuse retinols, but also to never let your skin conditions define your worth. Sometimes there is truly nothing you can do about it. Dermatologists may claim this is false as there is always a new product on the market being advertised to achieve perfect skin, but I am talking beyond the surface. I am making this claim towards the feeling of true disgust when looking at yourself and seeing scars, pimples, and red marks all over your skin. If you were looking for a cure to these infections, I hate to inform you but I wouldn’t know. If I did, I wouldn’t still suffer from acne. I wouldn’t have picked at my skin for 30 minutes before writing this. I also wouldn’t stare into the mirror and instantly notice the imperfections.
What I do know is that no one else notices these things. My first impression of someone has never been the amount of scars or red marks on their skin. I have yet to encounter someone whose worth I measured based on how many blemishes they have on their face. Recognizing this has allowed me to recognize how I seem to be so fixated on such an irrelevant thing. I am saying this to anyone who has just read the previous text and deeply resonated with it, even though it is absolutely niche:
It is completely normal to feel insecure and jealous; however, do not let this consume your worries and take over your life. I based my beauty entirely on how clear my skin was each day. Do not let your confidence deteriorate over a couple of blemishes. Trust me, they will eventually leave. Whether it takes months or even years, you will pass this time. Most importantly, everyone has acne. I thought I was blessed with holy genes until I experienced it myself. I’ve come to terms with how my skin functions. Erasing all my scars and removing all my acne used to be a priority, but now taking care of my skin is what matters to me.
Embrace who you are no matter what condition your skin is in. You are worth so much more. Do not let short-term problems become long-term worries.
– Melody